How to Overcome a Fear Food
What is a fear food? Fear foods are foods you avoid because at some point in your life, you learned that those foods or food groups were “bad.” Fear foods are common in those with eating disorders or those who have been dieting for so long they no longer know what’s “healthy” or not. Diet culture tells us that in order to be healthy, we need to eat “good” foods and stay away from “bad” foods. This usually leads to a fear of eating “unhealthy” food. The reason I put some of those words in quotes is because there really is no such thing as a good food, a bad food, an objectively healthy food, or an objectively unhealthy food. Stay with me here - most common diet advice is extremely contradictory. There’s a reason why everyone’s fear foods can be so drastically different. It just depends on whose advice you’re listening to. Trying to make sense of all the diet advice out there is impossible. All it does is make people scared to eat the foods they love, which is probably one of the most unhealthy things you can do! So here’s how you can overcome your fear foods for good:
un-educate yourself on diet culture
Here’s the thing: most of the time, collecting a list of fear foods or eliminating entire food groups doesn’t come from a lack of education but an over-abundance of it. You might search for the healthiest diet, the best diet, or other various nutrition information with the intention of bettering yourself and expanding your knowledge. Maybe you search for a diet that lets you eat whatever you want and still lose weight. Even those diets can lead to developing fear foods. Some information you find will be helpful and factual. For example:
Drinking water is good for you
Eating fruits and vegetables is good for you
Moving your body is good for you
Beyond that, most of what you’ll find is completely out of context and not able to be generalized to just anyone. Every body is different, and your nutrition needs cannot be answered by Google. So what’s the solution? Un-educate yourself. Go back to the basics. All the stuff you learned that led to more confusion than not you are allowed to throw in the trash. That’s easier said than done, because that means also throwing away all the promises diet culture gave you about how following xyz diet protocol will change your life. It might change your life, but usually for the worse. Especially in the long-run.
educate yourself on intuitive eating
Whether it’s working with an intuitive eating professional, reading the Intuitive Eating book, or doing a little research on the basic intuitive eating principles, educating yourself on intuitive eating will make un-educating yourself on diet culture easier. You’ll find out why following diets is so worthless, yes, even those “eat whatever you want” diets. For your convenience, I’ll list the 10 basic intuitive eating principles below:
Reject the Diet Mentality (this starts by un-educating yourself on diet culture)
Honor Your Hunger
Make Peace with Food
Challenge the Food Police
Discover the Satisfaction Factor
Feel Your Fullness
Cope with Your Emotions with Kindness
Respect Your Body
Movement - Feel the Difference
Honor Your Health - Gentle Nutrition
Intrigued? Confused? Feel free to send me an email with any questions you might have!
challenge your fear foods
This next step is the hardest, and it’s to challenge your fear foods. Now that your mind is prepped by un-learning diet culture and learning a bit about intuitive eating, hopefully it’s a little easier. Here’s a bit of guidance on where to start on challenging those fear foods!
Make a list of fear foods or food groups you avoid
Have a plan on how you’re going to cope with any big emotions that might come up after you challenge a fear food
Incorporate one of those foods into your next meal or snack in whatever amount feels doable (but still push yourself!)
Use your emotion coping plan that you came up with, knowing that you’re likely going to have to sit in some discomfort
The first time you challenge a fear food will be the hardest. The goal is to eventually notice how diet culture has likely lied to you in telling you that those foods are “bad.” Eating sugar won’t cause you to feel addicted to it. Carbs actually give you energy that your body needs. Intentional weight loss is a myth because restrictive diets are not sustainable by anyone (ok, statistically they are sustainable by 5% of the population). Allow yourself to feel what it’s like to no longer have yet another food you “can’t eat.”
build body trust
The tricky thing about body trust is that the action comes before the feeling. You have to challenge your fear foods before you can feel what it’s like to trust your body instead of trusting whatever diet culture says you need to do. It might feel like a constant dance between old diet culture narratives and your new healing narratives. That’s ok! Don’t try to be perfect, because then you’ll fail. Try to be human, and it’ll be impossible to fail. Here are some tips to build body trust:
Get familiar with the diet culture voice so you can identify it and actively go against it (we sometimes call this “opposite action”)
Remember that this process doesn’t happen overnight
Body trust isn’t a destination you achieve and never have to worry about again
It is something that gets easier to return to over time
Sitting with the discomfort of healing is one of the best ways to show yourself that you are resilient, which automatically builds self-trust and body trust
Why is talking about body trust so important when we’re supposed to be talking about overcoming fear foods? It’s important because the more trust you build with your body, the easier it will be to not only overcome other fear foods, but also prevent you from ever developing new ones. Body trust allows you to witness diet culture from a distance, instead of feeling swept away by it. Body trust allows you to stand confidently in knowing what your body needs, so you won’t be swayed by diet culture trying to tell you what you do or don’t need.
The final and arguably most important thing you’ll need to do to overcome fear foods is to have self-compassion along the way. Like I said, this process won’t be “perfect,” and it’s not meant to be. Healing your relationship with food and your body is an ongoing practice that will feel easier with time. Be nice to yourself!